Chipper

I'm afraid to admit that I seem like a fun international gourmet only because I know a few tired tricks. I don't actually have any deep underlying expertise. Usually I don't need it because you can eat Mexican, Chinese, French and Japanese food and then start over and the world keeps revolving just fine. But throw a curve ball at me and I'm going to have to do something drastic. Something like... wildly and irresponsibly making stuff up!

Whose idea was it anyway to make Fish & Chips for dinner? I think it must have been my roommate Julia Child. She's cosmopolitan as all get out. But she's classy cosmopolitan, like the British Empire. Maybe that's because she studied in England and then served a mission in Hong Kong. The sun never sets on Julia Child's travel experience. Anyway. She was my inspiration, and the sheer empirical beauty of hot oil and corn batter was my impetus.

Une Soirée Française

I imagine there are some days you wake up and say to yourself, "I'm feeling a little... je ne sais quoi. It's just a lack of Gallic adventure in my life. What could I do to make myself feel just a little more French?"

Well, since we all have those days, it would sure be helpful if we all knew how to make crêpes. (And yes, I'm going to be an annoying little pedant and keep using the diacritical marks throughout this entry. Because I'm on a Mac, you see, and it's too easy!)

French night!

Veggin' Out

I used to live in Tree-Hugging Hippietown, Montana. Then I moved to Utah. While some things haven't changed, like the legal currency and the native language and the prevalent species of coniferous trees, some things are indeed quite different. The most recent shocking realization that I have come to is this: there are no decent veggie burgers in this county. Things that do not count as a decent veggie burger include: 1) The "Meatless Wonder" at Chadder's. It's a white bun with shredded iceberg lettuce, onions and a vaguely orange sauce that calls itself "special" because it's actually salad dressing. It's identical to their hamburger except they took the meat off. 2) That freezer-burned box of Boca Burgers buried in the back of the freezer aisle at the BYU Creamery on 9th behind two Hungry Man Dinners. 3) A hamburger with extra pickles. (Though extra pickles are always a good idea, this one loses on a technicality.)

I admire these folks for trying. I don't even think they know what they've done wrong - they're just trying to be diverse and inclusive, right? They have merely fallen victim to the myths surrounding vegetarian food that plague so many in our nation. There's this mistaken idea that eating food without any meat in it is an ascetic penance that you inflict upon yourself in some sort of attempt to punish your weak mortal flesh. This is untrue! I am now going to take it upon myself to dispel three common myths about vegetarian food.